The downturn and relationships
A very deep question has been bugging me for quite sometime now. You could call it, that eternal question about the nature of love and human beings and even dismiss it because it's a difficult one. But the eternality of this question is somewhat transposed by the given timeframe, by the very concrete nature of its aspects that binds us humans, as does breath to body. How has the economic downturn affected relationships?
I imagine there were households that fought about the sudden cut in resources. Changes in lifestyle must have been hard to enforce, upon others, upon oneself. The confidence of those given pink slips must have dipped even if there was some consolation in the large scale-ness of the phenomena. Occasionally, it must have felt a little like a natural disaster. People must have faced regret, sorrow and a sense of betrayal, with many relationships strained. And what of those who decided to say 'no' to life because they lost their jobs? It was only much later that counseling services for them were thought-of.
For those who never took advantage of the economic boom or faced the trauma of the downturn, the suffering of those involved may have been a far-off story. Even insignificant; after all, doesn’t a majority of India live on old salaries that are still about 5000 rupees a month or so? Yes that’s true. And yet, the economic downturn raised an old question about relationships that no one can really elude. It reminded me of that infamous word; adjustment, and the equally infamous Indian mantra: "svalpa adjust maadi". It made me think about the control, co-operation, forgiveness and energy given or taken in all relationships and particularly between parent-child relationships and between spouses.
Not by fluke, some of the saddest stories I got to hear during the economic recession were from women friends. Women, and Indian women at that, do get a raw deal in most relationships, and that’s not even news. But it hurt me greatly when I heard a friend from the US telling me about her cancelled engagement. All because she had lost her job! Sadly, physical and emotional relationships meant nothing to the man in question and he had just walked out in the changed scenario.
Another friend suffered a heart break when the man she was in love with said goodbye without much hesitation because he lost a job. Well, relationships are fragile, but why, I wanted to ask. Didn’t marriage or love actually mean that people stuck together through thick and thin? I am not someone with that typical comment about today's "youngsters and their faults!". I think the issue is far more serious and was always present. Surely, our parents must have faced rough times too...in fact, were they not all a good deal poorer than we are currently?
My friend was ready to wait, she was ready to support her boyfriend, she wanted to marry him no matter what. But the man, possibly under severe social pressure, but possibly simply grabbing the excuse refused everything. I wonder sometimes if they can think of getting together again today, now that the recession is considered almost over! But maybe they shouldn’t get together.
My friend from the US told me in the same breath "I have lost all hope" and "I have learned my lesson". She bitterly added "All men want from you is your body, I now understand why women in the US are so conscious about their looks: they are insecure." The time is probably just right for Indian women to ask for prenuptial agreements.
I imagine there were households that fought about the sudden cut in resources. Changes in lifestyle must have been hard to enforce, upon others, upon oneself. The confidence of those given pink slips must have dipped even if there was some consolation in the large scale-ness of the phenomena. Occasionally, it must have felt a little like a natural disaster. People must have faced regret, sorrow and a sense of betrayal, with many relationships strained. And what of those who decided to say 'no' to life because they lost their jobs? It was only much later that counseling services for them were thought-of.
For those who never took advantage of the economic boom or faced the trauma of the downturn, the suffering of those involved may have been a far-off story. Even insignificant; after all, doesn’t a majority of India live on old salaries that are still about 5000 rupees a month or so? Yes that’s true. And yet, the economic downturn raised an old question about relationships that no one can really elude. It reminded me of that infamous word; adjustment, and the equally infamous Indian mantra: "svalpa adjust maadi". It made me think about the control, co-operation, forgiveness and energy given or taken in all relationships and particularly between parent-child relationships and between spouses.
Not by fluke, some of the saddest stories I got to hear during the economic recession were from women friends. Women, and Indian women at that, do get a raw deal in most relationships, and that’s not even news. But it hurt me greatly when I heard a friend from the US telling me about her cancelled engagement. All because she had lost her job! Sadly, physical and emotional relationships meant nothing to the man in question and he had just walked out in the changed scenario.
Another friend suffered a heart break when the man she was in love with said goodbye without much hesitation because he lost a job. Well, relationships are fragile, but why, I wanted to ask. Didn’t marriage or love actually mean that people stuck together through thick and thin? I am not someone with that typical comment about today's "youngsters and their faults!". I think the issue is far more serious and was always present. Surely, our parents must have faced rough times too...in fact, were they not all a good deal poorer than we are currently?
My friend was ready to wait, she was ready to support her boyfriend, she wanted to marry him no matter what. But the man, possibly under severe social pressure, but possibly simply grabbing the excuse refused everything. I wonder sometimes if they can think of getting together again today, now that the recession is considered almost over! But maybe they shouldn’t get together.
My friend from the US told me in the same breath "I have lost all hope" and "I have learned my lesson". She bitterly added "All men want from you is your body, I now understand why women in the US are so conscious about their looks: they are insecure." The time is probably just right for Indian women to ask for prenuptial agreements.
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