Snippets from London
I met a woman who had stayed in London for 15 years and yet she did not know English. She had five children, was loving, disciplined, conforming, caring. She was the neighbour of the family I stayed with.
Among all the fun-loving and happy nature that the youth of London displayed, there was also a strong sense of ridicule for others that accompanied it, if in case you did not belong to a group. I was shocked that there is really no place on earth where people can genuinely refrain from judging, or getting attached to people in groups, while rejecting some others. The caste system in its indifference (rather than rejection) fared better than these ridiculing groups that derived their jokes from belittling other ways of being!
Once while waiting for the Overground, I saw an Indian young man enter, with cap, scarf and goggles. London is always so grey, the goggles were definitely out of place. Wonder if he could see anything at all actually! An English young man, also at the station saw the Indian and laughed aloud, produced scorn and almost uttered the words--"what a joker, what a loser you are!" I couldn't help thinking how very long it takes for us to grow out of the ideas of modernity we inherit as Indians. Wearing goggles in India would indicate that you are fashionable, elite, upper class etc. Wearing goggles as an accessory in the summer adds to fashion in the West as well. But do it in Winter and you must be that Indian who thought it was just a thing to do to be modern! Modernity is the very search for perfect accessories, it seemed, since we have anyway forgotten to be content with our true and real selves.
On the news, one day I saw that there were laws being passed for Indian immigrants. I was a little upset and shocked, but it did not evoke much response from the Indians I knew. The law was to do with young Indian women who were "forced" into arranged marriages and denied choice of partners. As if partners really lasted all that long in that part of the world, I thought--speaking out my own prejudices! A sense of commitment exists there towards a fragile serial monogamy--fragile because it could give way solely on the grounds of falling in love or taking to someone else. I am yet to figure out more about the dynamics of love and relationships in the western world. The young Indian women who had grown up in London obviously wanted to date and be like their peers. And 17 or 18 was when you were considered to be an adult there. While in India, maturity may or may not arrive, it is a life with few guarantees. Marriage is supposed to confer some maturity, motherhood and fatherhood some more...and not the other way round, certainly not the number 18! You can never adult or mature enough if you have lived in India. My host once told me in passing, "so what if you are in love with someone, it doesn't mean you give up yourself". Alright, so there are indeed few guarantees in life in the west as well! Relationships, apparently are the equalizers that function across cultures; they don't recognize third world-first world!
I watched Brick Lane, a good movie about a Bangladeshi immigrant woman's life in London. Through the movie, we see that she finally finds herself recognizing London as home, while it always used to be the paddy fields and family back in Bangladesh that was initially home. This difficulty faced by immigrants is not exactly understood by Londoners. Because I once saw a young brown woman applying make-up in the Overground and an English girl laughed at her, at the in-authenticity of the situation --the very existence of this other person seemed like a fake thing to her. Unbelievable in the 21st century, isn't it? And in London, which has a substantial amount of immigrant population as well as tourists all round the year. Back in India, we hope to find 'rational' people in the West. These, after all, were the people who colonized us and committed immeasurable acts of violence in the name of our irrationality.
The Indians in London did not evoke the colonial past at all, no mention, nope. Lips sealed. I couldn't understand how such a huge historical event could be brushed under the carpet, as everyday lives continued their march. Indians in London were just people who were in another's country so that they could make a life for themselves, offer their labour and get paid in return. Ugh, no.
Londoners love Indian food. It all over the place. "Go Indian" said the supermarket shelves dedicated to Indian food. Indian food is also quite inexpensive, available from 2.5 pounds or so. It felt good that Indian food was part of another people's cuisine now. Interestingly vegetarianism seemed to be an option even at McDonalds! I don't know if that was so because vegetarianism is a fashion or because there is a huge Indian population that is vegetarian. In McDonalds I fed myself "Spicie Veggie" four times a week.
The family I stayed with in London were Sikhs, but ate non-vegetarian food. I was dismissed as misfit, impractical or non-modern on the very first evening when it was discovered that I still keep my old ways in being vegetarian. Apart from jokes cracked at my expense, I was also respected somewhat for this very fact, I think. Anyways!
In the metros or Tube should I say, there are newspapers lying around despite the instruction pasted here and there, asking commuters to collect their newspapers after themselves. CCTV everywhere could catch you leaving it there, you know. There are unbelievable amounts of surveillance in London, particularly in the transport system! I picked up a newspaper one evening and it reported that a survey revealed that 60% of women working in firms felt uncomfortable by the fact that clients were entertained at Men's clubs. So there was a move by women's groups to ban this practice. London dekha, Paris dekha, patriarchy toh universal hai, meri jaan!
Among all the fun-loving and happy nature that the youth of London displayed, there was also a strong sense of ridicule for others that accompanied it, if in case you did not belong to a group. I was shocked that there is really no place on earth where people can genuinely refrain from judging, or getting attached to people in groups, while rejecting some others. The caste system in its indifference (rather than rejection) fared better than these ridiculing groups that derived their jokes from belittling other ways of being!
Once while waiting for the Overground, I saw an Indian young man enter, with cap, scarf and goggles. London is always so grey, the goggles were definitely out of place. Wonder if he could see anything at all actually! An English young man, also at the station saw the Indian and laughed aloud, produced scorn and almost uttered the words--"what a joker, what a loser you are!" I couldn't help thinking how very long it takes for us to grow out of the ideas of modernity we inherit as Indians. Wearing goggles in India would indicate that you are fashionable, elite, upper class etc. Wearing goggles as an accessory in the summer adds to fashion in the West as well. But do it in Winter and you must be that Indian who thought it was just a thing to do to be modern! Modernity is the very search for perfect accessories, it seemed, since we have anyway forgotten to be content with our true and real selves.
On the news, one day I saw that there were laws being passed for Indian immigrants. I was a little upset and shocked, but it did not evoke much response from the Indians I knew. The law was to do with young Indian women who were "forced" into arranged marriages and denied choice of partners. As if partners really lasted all that long in that part of the world, I thought--speaking out my own prejudices! A sense of commitment exists there towards a fragile serial monogamy--fragile because it could give way solely on the grounds of falling in love or taking to someone else. I am yet to figure out more about the dynamics of love and relationships in the western world. The young Indian women who had grown up in London obviously wanted to date and be like their peers. And 17 or 18 was when you were considered to be an adult there. While in India, maturity may or may not arrive, it is a life with few guarantees. Marriage is supposed to confer some maturity, motherhood and fatherhood some more...and not the other way round, certainly not the number 18! You can never adult or mature enough if you have lived in India. My host once told me in passing, "so what if you are in love with someone, it doesn't mean you give up yourself". Alright, so there are indeed few guarantees in life in the west as well! Relationships, apparently are the equalizers that function across cultures; they don't recognize third world-first world!
I watched Brick Lane, a good movie about a Bangladeshi immigrant woman's life in London. Through the movie, we see that she finally finds herself recognizing London as home, while it always used to be the paddy fields and family back in Bangladesh that was initially home. This difficulty faced by immigrants is not exactly understood by Londoners. Because I once saw a young brown woman applying make-up in the Overground and an English girl laughed at her, at the in-authenticity of the situation --the very existence of this other person seemed like a fake thing to her. Unbelievable in the 21st century, isn't it? And in London, which has a substantial amount of immigrant population as well as tourists all round the year. Back in India, we hope to find 'rational' people in the West. These, after all, were the people who colonized us and committed immeasurable acts of violence in the name of our irrationality.
The Indians in London did not evoke the colonial past at all, no mention, nope. Lips sealed. I couldn't understand how such a huge historical event could be brushed under the carpet, as everyday lives continued their march. Indians in London were just people who were in another's country so that they could make a life for themselves, offer their labour and get paid in return. Ugh, no.
Londoners love Indian food. It all over the place. "Go Indian" said the supermarket shelves dedicated to Indian food. Indian food is also quite inexpensive, available from 2.5 pounds or so. It felt good that Indian food was part of another people's cuisine now. Interestingly vegetarianism seemed to be an option even at McDonalds! I don't know if that was so because vegetarianism is a fashion or because there is a huge Indian population that is vegetarian. In McDonalds I fed myself "Spicie Veggie" four times a week.
The family I stayed with in London were Sikhs, but ate non-vegetarian food. I was dismissed as misfit, impractical or non-modern on the very first evening when it was discovered that I still keep my old ways in being vegetarian. Apart from jokes cracked at my expense, I was also respected somewhat for this very fact, I think. Anyways!
In the metros or Tube should I say, there are newspapers lying around despite the instruction pasted here and there, asking commuters to collect their newspapers after themselves. CCTV everywhere could catch you leaving it there, you know. There are unbelievable amounts of surveillance in London, particularly in the transport system! I picked up a newspaper one evening and it reported that a survey revealed that 60% of women working in firms felt uncomfortable by the fact that clients were entertained at Men's clubs. So there was a move by women's groups to ban this practice. London dekha, Paris dekha, patriarchy toh universal hai, meri jaan!
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